Curiosity Conversations

I have a good friend who is curious like me and so he became a part-time Uber driver. An Uber driver has no idea what surprises await with the next passenger. They could meet fascinating people from all parts of the country, even from all parts of the world.

One day, my friend had an interesting conversation with a passenger.

After the initial pleasantries, he asked the passenger: So, what do you do for a living?

And the passenger said: I am a drug dealer.

Without skipping a beat, my friend, who is a hospice chaplain, replied: Me too.

They were both curious about each other. The passenger told the chaplain that he was joking about being a drug dealer.

He was a pharmacist, who is technically, a “drug dealer.”

The pharmacist was curious about how the chaplain could be a drug dealer.

The chaplain solemnly said: Part of my job is to preach religion; didn’t Karl Marx say that religion is the opium of the people?

The passenger laughed out loud. He was impressed by the clever Uber driver who was a hospice chaplain. They had a lively conversation about religion in America and the chaplain had a chance to talk about how Jesus changed his life.

There is a fascinating book titled, A Curious Mind by Brian Grazer. He is a famous Hollywood producer of movies like Apollo 13, and A Beautiful Mind. He has received 47 Oscar nominations and 149 Emmy nominations for movies and TV shows. Mr. Grazer had been named TIME’s 100 influential people in the world. He attributes all his success and happiness to having what he calls, “curiosity conversations” with people.

So, be curious about other people. Every human being is a conglomerate of thousands of stories. Most people are happy to tell them if you show genuine interest in them.

If people don’t tell you their stories, it is not because they don’t want to talk, but because you don’t know how to listen.

Years ago, I was talking to a friend about my weekend. I had visited Disney world, and started my conversation by saying: “I really enjoyed the space mountain roller coaster ride because….

Before I was able to complete the sentence, let alone the whole story, she interjected:

“OMG, Paul, you have no idea what happened to me when I went there years ago when my kids were young, and then proceeded to talk non-stop about the hassles of traveling with children, how long the line was, how her glasses fell off her face, how the kids threw up…on and on for a good five minutes — without any awareness about how abruptly and rudely she had shut me down.

Learn to listen to others focusing on their story, instead of thinking about how to interject your story into theirs.

Learn to listen to others without interrupting, interpreting, interrogating or interjecting.

Learn to listen intensely and with interest.

Remember that when you re-arrange the letters of the word LISTEN, you get SILENT. Calming your mind from the cacophony inside is crucial for caring, and hearing what others have to say.

(from Cosmic Kindergarten: Earthly Lessons for a Heavenly Life)